I may no longer be covering WWE’s main roster doings on the site, but I managed to watch WWE Great Balls Of Fire. And by watch I mean “followed along on Twitter until Roman ‘speared the ambulance’ – Cole’s words, not mine”. Of course, I had some observations. While doing a full recap would be foolhardy, considering I mostly watched the show in GIF format on my social media timeline, a short list article seemed appropriate. So, without any further ado, it’s time to –
Eat Balls: 4 Strange Things From WWE Great Balls Of Fire 2017
1. Heel Big Cass
I quit watching Raw literally the segment before Cass turned on Enzo. I’ve followed the fall out of said turn by way of GIFs and the occasional YouTube clip. I assumed going into #WWEBalls that this would be Cass’ big heel coming out party. In a way it was – he utterly destroyed Enzo in the ring. However, wow… those optics. Cass’ big heel entrance involves a song that is straight from the CFO$ “nobody wanted this track” folder. The song itself is generic heel fodder, but those stutter stops are totally unnecessary and distracting. I’d have hoped, at the very least, a heel turn of this magnitude would have had some epic new entrance in the hopper for Cass, but nah. “Heel Theme 05” from WWF No Mercy Create-A-Wrestler it is. Also, great job aligning the text “Big Cass” on the Titantron so when Cass is shot from below during his entrance (as WWE loves to do with big men), he gets to be “Big Ass”. Fail. This needs to be fixed ASAP or Cass’ singles run gets to be even more uphill than it already is.
2. EAT BALLS
Much like with “Big Ass”, the name “Great Balls Of Fire” on the arena LED boards kept getting abbreviated into “Eat Balls” by the heads of wrestlers. Sasha Banks (shown above), Matt Hardy, Samoa Joe – I’m sure there were more. Of course “Wrestling Twitter” was screen capturing these and spreading them far and wide – doing their part to ensure that WWE Great Balls of Fire is a one and done PPV (or at the very least the logo is rethought before next year)
3. So much blood.
Before someone realized that nothing speaks to wrestling fans more than piano tunes from 60 years ago, this PPV was supposed to be Bad Blood in Hartford. Kind of strange that we saw more blood on a PPV than we have in some time. Matt Hardy, of course, got the worst of it as seen in the video above. Ambrose was also bleeding from the mouth in the IC Title match. The Strowman blood was either planned (likely) or a shoot (less likely) but I have to think that so much accidental hard way blood before the Ambulance Match was likely annoying to someone backstage…
4. The Finish of the Ambulance Match Onward
So, after deducing from my Twitter feed the ambulance match was winding down, I had the opportunity to tune into the live show. The WWE Network came on my screen – perfectly timed to see Roman Reigns go diving headfirst into an ambulance – losing the match. “Cool,” I thought. “Just in time to see Joe take on Brock”. Little did I know I’d be sitting through Roman Reigns becoming the ultimate WWE babyface (trying to kill a man on live PPV), Jamie Noble wielding a crowbar, and an impromptu Heath Slater vs. Curt Hawkins match (complete with off-screen finish!). Seriously, for a moment I felt like I’d time warped and was watching some alternate universe episode of WCW Nitro. I don’t even entirely understand why the Slater vs. Hawkins match happened, considering the “split screen” showing the match all but ended so we could watch firemen fumble with the “Jaws Of Life” on the door to the ambulance for what felt like forever. At best it felt like a weird Raw segment – at worst… I don’t even know. There was just something off about hearing JoJo declare Heath Slater the winner of a match only the live crowd saw, while firemen attempted to free Braun Strowman from an ambulance that has been rammed into a semi-trailer by the guy we’re supposed to view as the top babyface. Weird. I have to assume that lingering shot of Roman looking into the ambulance’s side mirror before throwing the vehicle in reverse was his heel turn moment? Maybe? Probably not. Who knows. Nothing about the post-match attack really made much sense with the way Reigns has been portrayed on the show so far.
All in all, the action I did see (the Joe vs. Lesnar match) was good. Joe was presented in a strong fashion, losing to one F5 didn’t bother me, and c’mon – did you really think Lensar would lose the “fruit leather” belt at #WWEBalls? Was it enough to get me to find the time to watch Raw regularly again – nope – but I knew that going in.
Anything else weird about #WWEBalls that I missed? Hit me up on Twitter @turnheelsite. Until the next NXT…