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WWE Money In The Bank 2016 Predictions - Roman Reigns
(WWE.com)

Drinking Games

Money in the Bank Predictions and All-Purpose Drinking Game

New contributor, Laura Crawford details the rules of the official Turn Heel MITB drinking game for Sunday!

Hi Kittens,

I’m your new contributing writer Laura Crawford-a survivor of the Divas Revolution (RIP Divas) and a real “Women’s Champion” of smarky internet writing.

Welcome to the Inaugural TurnHeel Money in the Bank Predictions Guide/Dirtrag/Drinking Game!

If you want to follow along with my tweets during the PPV it’s @CrawfordComic and of course, @TurnHeelSite. Or, find me on Facebook and tell me why I’m a stupid Hitler who doesn’t know a wrist-lock from a wristwatch.

On to the show! Prediction? PAIN! Or just nausea from excessive shaky cam.

WWE SmackDown 04/28/16 Recap - Byron Saxton

(WWE / USA Network)

PRE-SHOW

What’s a PPV pre-show without Booker T shouting out something nonsensical and upbeat? Get your smiles in while you can because Graves will roll his eyes more than an eighth-grade girl. And that Byron Saxton! He is….going to be there too. The Lawler arrest may be weighing heavily on fans’ minds, but the chances of it getting brought up on this show are about 0.

You know, something about predicting outcomes in a pre-determined sporting event seems a bit, convoluted? Rather than simply rattle off a richly textured series of predictions, I’ll get down to what we’re all really here for, the rules of the Drinking Game.

WWE Money In The Bank 2016 Predictions - Apollo Crews vs. Sheamus

(WWE.com)

CREWS v. SHEAMUS

Less Battle of the Ages, More Battle For Some Reason is the Sheamus/Crews match-up.

The Celtic Warrior is not about to be hustled aside in this New Era and we’re going to hear about it! More importantly, this is Crews’ big chance to prove he’s a man made for primetime with a joyous, downright boyish, grin.

Take A Drink Every Time…

Commentary makes mention of Sheamus’ Ninja Turtles role

Crews gets called a “natural athlete”

Chug…

The entire duration of the spinning power bomb that ends it.

Finishing Out…

Crews wins via spinning powerbomb.

WWE Money In The Bank 2016 Predictions - Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin

(WWE.com)

CORBIN v. ZIGGLER

Another chapter unfolds in the saga of young Baron Corbin.This fresh and equally grumpy talent is such a loner, even his hairline is backing off. Watch out, that’s not the last Dad joke in this deal. Leading up to MITB, Corbin’s career has been on a massive upswing, and he looks ready to roll his hog right over Ziggler on his way to the top. That sounded much more homoerotic than it should have. Basically, the match is like Cannibal Corpse v. Poison in a Battle of the Bands.

Take A Drink Every Time…

A kid wets their pants after getting a Corbin glower

Ziggler blatantly apes HBK

Pound It…

If Ziggler manages to actually steal the whole show.

Corbin gets compared to The Undertaker

Finishing Out…

If this feud continues after MITB just check yourself into Betty Ford

Corbin wins by the “End of Days”

WWE Money In The Bank 2016 Predictions - Charlotte & Dana Brooke vs. Natalya & Becky Lynch

(WWE.com)

CHARLOTTE & DANA BROOKE v. BECKY LYNCH & NATALYA

Having Dr. Phil handle Charlotte seemed to work, so, I’m going to lay out a little Texas style therapeutic analysis. Charlotte may think she’s “the woman”, but she’s just holding the belt until Sasha hits back at SummerSlam. Dana has to quit being a follower and define herself as an individual if she doesn’t want to get pushed aside by all her peers from NXT.

Take a Shot…

In loving memory of Dana’s abs in NXT (RIP)

Every sharp-shooter or figure 8 tease

Lass-kicking Lynch owns the match

Get Space-Mountain Wasted…

If David Flair makes a run-in

To Close it Out…

No contest via shenanigans from the Brooke/Flair camp.

WWE Money In The Bank 2016 Predictions - Rusev vs. Titus O'Neil

(WWE.com)

RUSEV v. TITUS

Rusev is United States Champion, Titus wants to be United States Champion, so the big men are going to throw each other around like a couple of sacks of Bulgarian potatoes.

Take a Sip…

For every reference to Titus’ Dad of the Year Award

If you put Rusev’s Titantron into Google Translate

For every Lana related distraction

Knock it Back…

If Rusev comes out in a tank-AGAIN

If Darren Young makes a run-in

To Finish it Out…

The Bulgarian Brute wins via accolade or distraction pin

WWE Money In The Bank 2016 Predictions - Fatal Four Way Tag Team Championship Match

(WWE.com)

NEW DAY v. BULLET CLUB v. ENZO & CASS v. VAUDEVILLAINS

It’s easy to get confused about what exactly the nine individuals in this fight all have against one another, because it’s all confusing, something about Enzo and Francesca 2 making a Trombones Gone Wild video on Bourbon St.

Take a Swig of Healing Tonic If…

The Vaudevillains get a pop from the crowd

Aiden English doesn’t dress like a fopish 19th Century Rat-Catcher

Cass gets the hot tag

Francesca 2 brings the heat

Commentary says “Japan” more than thrice

Xavier and Enzo hit the hot tag simultaneously

Drink All Dat If..

New Day loses the belts

There is somehow a Vaudevillains win

To Top it Off…

New Day win via Trouble in Paradise

WWE Money In The Bank 2016 Predictions - Money in the Bank Match

(WWE.com)

MONEY IN THE BANK

This may be the second PPV of the “New Era” but it’s over-stuffed with grudges and rivalries years in the making. NXT’s top grads are finally taking center stage and bringing indie credibility to the roster.

Take a Drink When…

You forget Alberto Del Rio is in the match

JBL seems to be getting sexual pleasure from berating Byron Saxton

Sami Zayn gets his Generico “Ole” chants rolling

Kevin Owens calls out Michael Cole

Dean Ambrose’s punches look more silly than cool

Cesaro seems to be impersonating Jason Statham

Chris Jericho Calls Someone A Stupid Idiot

Finish Your Drink If…

Kevin Owens does his pop-up powerbomb, the funnest move to say aloud

Every time Kevin and Sami degenerate into a hockey fight

Walls of Jericho via ladder

Del Rio sets up a hanging stomp on the ladder and it’s super-convoluted

Jericho reminds you of Dennis Reynolds

Dean reminds you of Roddy Piper

You forget Del Rio is in the match

Chug a Molson…

For any cradle piledriver off the ladder

If Jericho Wins

If Kevin Owens’ first shot is not at Sami Zayn

Kill the Bottle…

Jericho’s scarf wins

Low-Blow Via Ladder

Michael Cole talks about the “big fight” feel

Clear Your Fridge…

If Dean Ambrose wins

Drink the Whole Bar If…

Alberto Del Rio only speaks English

WWE Money In The Bank 2016 Predictions - John Cena vs. AJ Styles

(WWE.com)

CENA v. STYLES

“Let’s Go Cena!” “Let’s Go Styles!” Let’s hope we can keep the interference and Japan mentions in this match to a minimum.

Double Sip…

Every time you hear the words “dream match”

Styles Clash into sunset flip power-bomb

Phenomenal forearm into AA

Every time you think, “Wait a minute, is Mark Wahlberg fighting Chris Gaines?”

Every time JBL says “phenomenal”

Keg-Stand For a…

Phenomenal forearm into springboard stunner

Get Blacked Out…

If Styles wins

Cena wins via submission to STF

WWE Money In The Bank 2016 Predictions - Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

(WWE.com)

REIGNS v. ROLLINS

Rollins has returned-built to even greater proportions, like some kind of human Robocop. But, there’s a very angry, wet-haired man who stands in way of holding that belt again.

Drink For Every…

Smug Rollins laugh

Smug Reigns laugh

Any combination of the words “THE” and “GUY”

Catch a Springboard knee into spear

Pedigree into Samoan drop or the rampage ripoff spot

Curbstomp gets teased

Every single Superman punch, yes one shot for each and every one of them

Switch to Brown Liquor…

If Bray Wyatt interferes

Rollins’ Nazi ex-girlfriend comes back to manage him

Final Prediction…

Naturally, Reigns wins via spear, but with heavy funny business. 

Thanks for checking in-let us know what you thought of this piece in the comments and as always, please like, share and subscribe to us, it’s the only way we can feel anymore.

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