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WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game - WWE Payback Promo Image
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Drinking Games

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game

WWE Fastlane 2017 predictions by way of a drinking game. Seriously, don’t try this at home.

WWE Payback 2017 is a “House of Horrors” in the making, so you’re going to need the official Turn Heel WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game. This “Raw exclusive” post-Mania PPV includes two (!) matches featuring post-Superstar Shake-Up SmackDown talents. Also, Finn Balor is on the Kickoff Show – getting interviewed on Miz TV. Yeah. It’s going to be that kind of show most likely. Hopefully, we won’t get you so drunk that you have to leave your home / the bar / “a seedy back alley with free WiFi” in an ambulance that Braun Strowman tips over.

As usual, this game is presented as a fun way to try to predict the results of an upcoming WWE PPV. We obviously do not advocate actually playing this game due to the extreme nature of the challenge presented here. In other words, don’t try this at home.

Standard Turn Heel WWE PPV drinking game rules apply for the WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game: If you’re playing on “Easy Mode” take a sip of beer or of a mixed drink when the game calls for it. If you’re playing on “Hardcore Mode” take a full shot of hard liquor or entire can/bottle of beer each time the game calls for it.

Programming Note: After the marathon writing (and marathon reading for you, dear reader) experience that was the WrestleMania drinking game, I’ve decided to cut out the match previews on these. Instead, you’ll just be getting the drinking game rules and a brief prediction. If you’re hard up for back story on the matches, a little bird told me we’ll have some sort of Payback preview on the site before the PPV airs. Or, you know, watch the Kickoff Show and see the hype videos that will be airing ad nauseam during that.

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game – Kickoff Show

General Kickoff Show Rules

Take a shot:

Each time Jerry Lawler says something cringe-worthy

Each time someone on your Twitter feed makes fun of Sam Roberts

If Renee Young debuts a new hairstyle

If Dean Ambrose crashes the panel at any point

Take 2 shots:

If we see Heath Slater and/or Rhyno during the Kickoff Show

If we see Goldust and/or R. Truth during the Kickoff Show

If we learn what in the Blue Hell a “House of Horrors Match” is during the Kickoff Show

Take 3 shots:

If we see Rhyno, but he’s NOT eating cheese and crackers

If Kurt Angle names sort form of stipulation for the Reigns / Strowman match during the Kickoff Show

Take 4 shots:

If Stephanie McMahon makes her triumphant return on the Kickoff Show

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game - Enzo Amore, Big Cass, Luke Gallows, Karl Anderson

(WWE.com)

Enzo & Big Cass vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson

Take a shot:

If Enzo makes a reference to modern pop culture

If Enzo makes a reference to retro pop culture

Each time Enzo is used as a projectile weapon

Each time Enzo takes a bump you know pops Vince in the back

Each time Gallows and Anderson “Too Sweet” each other

Take 2 shots:

If Enzo suffers another storyline injury before, during, or after the match

If we’re shown Enzo getting a concussion at last year’s Payback for no reason

If Gallows & Anderson go over clean with Magic Killer

Take 3 shots:

If Enzo once again becomes a liability for his team

If Enzo and Cass go over clean with their team finisher

Take 4 shots:

If Golden Truth run in and crush everyone

Prediction: I’m going with Enzo and Cass pulling this one out. That is based solely off of Enzo getting taken out by Gallows and Anderson Raw this week. It’s high time for Enzo and Cass to split, but I don’t see that happening any time soon unfortunately.

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game - Maryse, The Miz, Finn Balor

(WWE.com)

Miz TV (w/ special guest Finn Balor)

Take a shot:

If the crowd cheers Miz

Each time Marine 5 is mentioned

If Miz is wearing his Ron Burgundy suit

If Dean Ambrose DOESN’T crash MizTV

If Balor comes out as the Demon

Take 2 shots:

If Dean crashes this segment before Balor can even appear

If Miz ends up taking both a Dirty Deeds and a 1916 and/or Coup de Grace

If someone random shows up to tease a Fatal Four Way for the IC Title at Extreme Rules

Take 3 shots:

If the segment ends with Miz NOT taking someone’s finisher

If Miz dishes out at least one Skull Crushing Finale

Take 4 shots:

If the entire Miz TV segment runs its course with exactly zero physicality

Prediction: It’s an in ring interview segment. If anything comes from this, I imagine it will be seeds planted for the IC Title picture come Extreme Rules in June.

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game

General WWE Payback Rules

Take a shot:

If no titles change hands

If Kurt Angle isn’t shown at all during the show

If any of the SmackDown Live announcers call the House of Horrors or U.S. Championship match

If Elias Samson “drifts through” at any point of the show

If long-haired guy is back in the front row for this show

Take 2 shots:

If Stephanie McMahon makes her triumphant return during the main show

If Triple H appears on TV for any reason

If we get an Emma and Dana Brooke backstage segment

Take 3 shots:

If all three members of the Shield are shown together at any point during the show

Take 4 shots:

If Vince McMahon appears on TV for any reason

Down all of the liquor:

If Cult of Personality hits and CM Punk appears for any reason whatsoever

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game - Seth Rollins, Samoa Joe

(WWE.com)

Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe

Take a shot:

Each time a “this is awesome” chant breaks out

If they accidentally play Joe’s first NXT theme after he wins

If Joe works the “surgically repaired knee”

Take 2 shots:

If Seth can’t figure out what finisher to use

If Joe teases the Muscle Buster but doesn’t do it

If Seth hits Joe with a Pedigree

Take 3 shots:

If Seth doesn’t foam during the Coquina Clutch

If Seth defeats Joe with his new finisher

Take 4 shots:

If Joe manages to put Seth away with a submission

If we get a Shield Reunion of any sort during this match

Take 5 shots:

If Triple H aids Joe in any capacity before, during, or after the match

If Joe hits Seth with a Muscle Buster and pins him clean

Prediction: Seth wins. Joe has been getting a push since debuting, but with the Triple H “faction” fizzling, Seth needs to get his revenge and both guys need to move on to new things.

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game - Neville, Austin Aries

(WWE.com)

Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries (WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match)

Take a shot:

If Aries enters with a banana

If a banana factors into the match at any point

If Neville comes out with T.J. Perkins

If Aries is back to wearing a cape

If Neville denies the fans a Red Arrow

Each time Graves puts over the Discus Five Arm

Each time it’s noted how long it has been since Neville lost a match

Take 2 shots:

If Neville loses by DQ due to Perkins interference

If Perkins slips on a banana peel ala Mario Kart

If Jack Gallagher comes out to even the odds in Aries’ favor

If Aries puts Neville away with the Discus Five Arm

Take 3 shots:

If Neville taps to the Last Chancery

If Neville goes over AND T.J. Perkins is never seen

If Neville wins by cheating in some fashion

Take 4 shots:

If Neville makes Aries tap out to the Rings of Saturn

If anyone from the Cruiserweight division other than Gallagher and Perkins get involved in this match

Take 6 shots: 

If Kalisto shrugs off the drubbing he took from Strowman and comes out to challenge Neville after the match

Prediction: Neville wins, but it won’t be clean. I don’t see them ending Neville’s streak here, but I imagine Perkins or some old-fashioned cheating will get Neville the edge again. Ending Neville’s reigns is how you put over someone who needs it. Aries is already over enough with the crowd, so he doesn’t need to be the one who ends Neville’s streak.

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game - Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Cesaro, Sheamus

(WWE.com)

The Hardy Boyz (c) vs. Sheamus & Cesaro

Take a shot:

For each time Matt changes character during his entrance

If Sheamus and Cesaro are rocking their kilt / suit look

For each “Holy S**t” chant that happens due to something Jeff Hardy does

For each “Delete” chant that happens

For each “F*** that Owl” chant that happens

Take 2 shots:

If Matt spends more time “Broken” during the match than in any other persona

If Cesaro loses his cool during the match

If Sheamus ends up taking the loss for his team

If the Hardys retain with their “Twist of Fate / Swanton” combo finisher

Take 3 shots:

If a Cesaro / Sheamus break up is teased at any point during or after the match

If Sheamus wins the titles by way of a Brogue Kick

If any TNA alumni get involved during the match

Take 4 shots:

If Cesaro brings home the gold by way of a Neutralizer

If the Hardys retain by unconventional means (ie. DQ, count out, no contest, match stoppage)

If any other Raw tag teams get involved in the match

Take 5 shots:

If King Maxel makes his WWE debut at Payback

If the Hardys lose the titles and Matt loses his mind after the match

If ladders get involved – despite this not being a ladder match

Take 6 shots:

If the Hardys retain by way of a shovel shot from Señor Benjamin behind the ref’s back

Chug:

For the duration of each Cesaro Swing

Prediction: Matt and Jeff retain and keep the nostalgia train running a bit longer. It feels like “Broken” is on the horizon, but probably still a little ways out. The most logical way for Matt to break is via the Hardys losing the titles. Cesaro and Sheamus just don’t feel like the right team to run with the titles – though with Revival out, I’m not sure who exactly would be the right team.

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game - Bayley, Alexa Bliss

(WWE.com)

Bayley (c) vs. Alexa Bliss (WWE Raw Women’s Championship Match)

Take a shot:

If at least one of Bayley’s inflatable tube men malfunctions during her entrance

If Alexa cosplays as a Marvel character

If Alexa cosplays as a DC character

If we do not see Sasha Banks before, during, or after this match

Take 2 shots:

If Alexa wins the match by DQ or count out

If Sasha helps Bayley cheat to win without Bayley’s knowledge

If Alexa cosplays as a horror movie character

If Bayley’s family is shown on camera

Take 3 shots:

If Bayley retains clean with a Bayley to Belly

If Alexa cosplays as a sci-fi character

If Alexa becomes champ by way of unintentional help from Nia Jax

If Alexa takes the title by way of Sasha turning heel on Bayley

Take 4 shots:

If the match ends in a no contest because Nia Jax lays everyone out

If after retaining, Bayley and Sasha hug in the ring and remain BFFs – for now

Take 5 shots:

If Emma appears and gives Bayley a big hug at any time during Payback

Prediction: I’m going with Bliss taking the title. WWE loves to hot potato the Raw women’s title so putting a jet pack on Alexa doesn’t seem out of the question here. Also, if they involve Banks either intentionally or accidentally causing Bayley to lose, they can slow burn Sasha / Bayley for later in the year. The “Sasha turns on Bayley” trigger has to be pulled soon since they’ve been teasing it way too much lately.

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game - Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman

(WWE.com)

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

Take a shot:

If Roman wears the sneakers

If Roman wears the gold accented tactical vest

Each time Braun says the word “competition” during Payback

If Kurt Angle has to get involved for any reason

If we see an ambulance

If we see a dumpster

Take 2 shots:

If this becomes an ambulance match during Payback

If this becomes a dumpster match during Payback

If Kalisto returns from the dead and helps Roman win

If a barricade is destroyed

Take 3 shots:

If Roman wins, but it requires at least one other former Shield member to do it

If Braun goes over clean and dominant

If the ring breaks to end the match

If at least one table (announce counts) is destroyed

Take 4 shots:

If Big Show gets involved and helps Roman

If someone ends up in a stretcher

If a car is destroyed

If one of the WWE ring trucks is destroyed

Take 5 shots:

If Big Show gets involved and helps Braun

If this becomes a “falls count anywhere” match

If Roman’s victory requires a full Shield reunion

Take 6 shots:

If Big Show gets involved and helps Roman and then turns on Roman

If Roman wins clean with the Spear in under 15 minutes

If Brock Lesnar (remember him?) returns and levels both guys

Take 10 shots:

If Goldberg returns, Jackhammers Roman, Spears Braun, and poses with his son in the ring

Prediction: I’m going to go against convention and predict a Braun victory. I know, I know, but WWE seems to have no idea what to do with Roman after having him beat Undertaker. I mean, sure they’re going to likely have him beat Brock for the Universal at some point. But, for now, I could see him lose here and have Braun go on to face Lesnar for the strap the next time Brock feels like working a PPV.

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game - Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho

(WWE.com)

Kevin Owens (c) vs. Chris Jericho (WWE United States Championship Match)

Take a shot:

If Owens holds a chinlock for longer than 30 seconds

If Jericho wears the jacket Dean Ambrose gave him

If at any point during Payback KO reminds us that Jericho was never his friend

If Jericho puts someone on the List of Jericho during Payback

Take 2 shots:

If Owens retains by cheating in any way

If Owens retains by way of a DQ or count out loss

If KO counters a Codebreaker

If KO debuts a new t-shirt at Payback

Take 3 shots:

If Jericho successfully hits a Lionsault, puts KO in the Walls of Jericho, and hits a Codebreaker and STILL LOSES

If Owens retains cleanly with a pop-up powerbomb

If Dean Ambrose comes to Jericho’s aid during the match

Take 4 shots:

If Triple H helps Owens retain the title

If Samoa Joe helps Owens retain the title

Take 6 shots:

If Jericho becomes the U.S. Champ and takes the title on tour with Fozzy for the next few months

Pour one out:

Each time the Festival of Friendship is referenced

Prediction: Owens retains. Jericho’s last WWE event for a while will be the Raw after Payback. I don’t see WWE having both the Universal and United States titles going on an extended hiatus. Jericho loses, it’s the only way this ends.

WWE Payback 2017 Drinking Game - Randy Orton, Bray Wyatt

(WWE.com)

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton (House of Horrors Match)

Take a shot:

If a cage is involved

If “Sheeple” are involved

If this becomes “a match set outside the arena”

If darkness is involved

If mirrors are involved

If something creepy/scary is involved (think like a WWE writer to determine whether or not to take a shot)

If fire is involved

If projected images (incl. maggots or bugs) are involved

If music is involved

If pitch forks are involved

If fog is involved

Take 2 shots:

If Erick Rowan is involved

If Luke Harper is involved

If “evil” snakes are involved

If Jake “the Snake” Roberts appears and claims to be Orton’s real snake father

Take 3 shots:

If Jinder Mahal appears dressed as a devil and sets the WWE Championship on fire

If the Singh Brothers appear with the WWE Championship on a stick and use it lure Randy into a trap

If Bray Wyatt shaves off his trademark beard and rubs the clippings all over Orton’s face

If Sister Abigail’s remains / cremains are used in any capacity

If Bray and Randy end up fighting on the moon (any moon in our solar system is acceptable)

Take 4 shots:

If Bray Wyatt reveals he has “Cowboy” Bob Orton held captive and Randy has to fight through the House of Horrors to rescue him

Same scenario as above but swap out “Cowboy” Bob Orton with Barry O

If Randy hallucinates scenes from his days in Evolution and mistakes Bray Wyatt for Ric Flair or Batista

If a person in a werewolf costume is involved

If Tony Schiavone has been hired to open the door of the House of Horrors

Take 5 shots:

If this match is what finally “breaks” Matt Hardy for good

If Orton delivers a RKO to someone dressed in any sort of costume

If the Boogeyman has a cameo

If Jinder Mahal joins the Wyatt Family due to the happenings in this match

Take 6 shots:

If the “match” happens (at least partially) at the famous Winchester Mystery House

If the Drifter drifts through any portion of this “match”

If Bray Wyatt becomes “Husky Harris” again

Take 10 shots:

If this is a standard WWE wrestling match with periodic “Wyatt lights out” moments

Chug:

If Randy Orton pulls off his “Randy Orton suit” and reveals himself to be a reptilian

Prediction: No title on the line? Wyatt wins and we never speak of this again.

There you have it. I’ll be live-tweeting the PPV as always on Twitter – and I’ll also be live-tweeting Raw the next night from inside the building. Be safe!

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