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WWE Summerslam 2017 Drinking Game

It’s time for the biggest party of the summer, and the eventual biggest hangover of the summer as well. We have 13 (announced) matches for Summerslam so far and in theory more could be added. We see you Miz. Let’s get it on!

As usual, this game is presented as a fun way to try to predict the results of an upcoming WWE PPV. We obviously do not advocate actually playing this game due to the extreme nature of the challenge presented here. In other words, don’t try this at home.

Standard Turn Heel WWE PPV drinking game rules apply for the WWE SummerSlam 2017 Drinking Game: If you’re playing on “Easy Mode” take a sip of beer or of a mixed drink when the game calls for it. If you’re playing on “Hardcore Mode” take a full shot of hard liquor or down an entire can/bottle of beer each time the game calls for it.

ADDITIONAL DISCLAIMER: Only partake in the consumption of adult beverages if you are of legal age in your locale! (Hi, Facebook!)

WWE Summerslam 2017 Drinking Game – Kickoff Show

Well, it’s Friday night and we’ve got a two-hour pre-show with three (count ’em three) matches… here are the general rules first:

Take a shot:

If Sam Roberts and Pete Rosenberg are both on the panel.

If the panel extends past the desk.

If they have a bigger desk to compensate.

If Luke Harper is confirmed living

If Otunga gets relegated off the desk

Take 2 shots:

If any announced match gets bounced to the Kickoff (God could you imagine the log jam)

If they parade out Lana for no reason at all.

If Chad Gable joins the desk and has to talk about Jason Angle-Jordan

Take 3 shots:

If a joint Raw Talk/Talking Smack is announced post Summerslam

Take 4 shots:

If any impromptu matches are added to the Kickoff

Down an entire bottle:

If there are title changes on the Pre-Show

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

The Hardyz & Jason Jordan vs. Miz & The MizTourage (Kickoff Match)

Take a shot:

For each “Delete” chant that breaks out

If Dallas comes in with the unabomber/bandana combo

If Axel keeps up his Dad gimmick

If the crowd boos Jason Jordan

If Matt does the “Broken” hand signal

If “Broken,” “Woken,” or other obvious alluding adjectives are used by commentary.

Take 2 shots:

If Maryse is absent from the group

If the Hardy/Jordan connection lose

If Miz/Miztourage win by shenanigans

Take 3 shots:

If the match lasts more than 10 minutes

If we get Picture-in-Picture ad time

Take 4 shots:

If we get Broken/Woken/Token Jason Jordan

Prediction: This is a proper match to get the crowd pumped up for the rest of the show. Big pops for the Hardyz and boos for the Miz/MizTourage. We’ll see how the crowd reacts with Jordan, see if it improves from previous weeks. Hardyz win to help elevate Jason Angle.

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

Akira Tozawa vs. Neville (WWE Cruiserweight Title match)

Take a shot:

Each “Ahh” chant

Neville runs in on Tozawa

Each time Tozawa topé’s

If Titus Worldwide in its entirety joins Tozawa

Take 2 shots:

If this is the longest match of the Pre-Show

If Neville wins the title back

If Tozawa wins by aid of Crews, Titus, (Dana Brooke?) etc.

Take 3 shots:

If Tozawa wins clean and signals the end of a incredible run at the top of the 205 brand for Neville

Prediction: These two work great together. Their matches have been incredibly physical and this one should be no different. Tozawa wins because Neville has been used in every possible fashion. Would love to see him elevate to the Intercontinental Title scene soon.

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

New Day vs. The Usos (Smackdown Tag Team Title match)

Take a shot:

At each mention of New Day’s record reign

Each time “Day One” is stated

For each countered finisher

If the Uso’s target someones leg

Take 2 shots:

Each time footage of the rap battle is shown (yeah that was before Great Balls)

Each time commentary misidentifies the Uso’s

If Xavier Woods nails a coast-to-coast anything

Take 3 shots:

If New Day wins clean

Take 4 shots:

If the Uso’s win cleanly

If the match ends in a DQ

Take 5 shots:

If this match tops their Battleground opener

Prediction: Talk about a great rivalry on the blue brand. These two teams have put on some of the best tag team matches in wrestling this year and even though this is a pre-show match will not diminish the quality. New Day retains and waits for AOP.

WWE Summerslam 2017 Drinking Game

There are Tye Dillinger (10) main show matches so it’s a marathon not a sprint. Here’s some general rules:

Take a shot:

Each time the announcers mention “Summerslam”

If there is a heel turn in a backstage segment

Each time you hear the word “party”

Prepare your joy with 2 shots:

If we are privileged to have a SummerSlam Fashion Files

Take 3 shots:

If this show ends early

If someone debuts

If someone returns

Take 4 shots:

If this show somehow runs past 11pm Eastern

If Cena/Corbin gets more time than Nakamura/Mahal

For any legends shown in attendance

Take 15 shots:

If no titles change hands tonight

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

Demon Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

Take a shot:

If the match starts

If the crowd sings “He’s got the whole world…”

If Balor runs in on Wyatt’s entrance

If Wyatt teleports in on Balor’s demon entrance

Take 2 shots:

If Balor eats a Sister Abigail

Each time Demon is stated

If Balor comes out with a chainsaw

If any former members of the Wyatt family interfere.

Take 3 shots:

Each Wyatt senton

Take 4 shots:

If this ends up being match of the night

Take 10 shots:

If Wyatt defeats Balor and destroys any mystique or reasoning for Finn to come out as the Demon

Prediction: Demon Balor equals a win for Finn. Heh heh. Bray Wyatt has been good for this feud, but it is same old Bray and he’ll eat a loss. Maybe someday Bray will be legitimized.

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

Big Show w/ Enzo Amoré vs. Big Cass (Enzo Amoré placed in Shark Cage above the ring)

Take a shot:

If Big Cass gets another music makeover

Big Show gets his own entrance

If Enzo drops a foreign object to Show

If Cass loses due to distraction from Enzo above him

Take 4 shots:

If Show comes in under Enzo’s music and intro

Take 5 shots:

If Big Show wins and rides off into the sunset.

Take 6 shots:

If heel Enzo and Cass team up and double cross Big Show.

Prediction: This has not gone according to plan for WWE. They want Cass to be the next tall guy heel and he’s just making people believe it fully yet. Too many fans are behind Enzo still and don’t care what Cass has to say. This could either legitimize Cass as a full heel or they could do the thing that has been trending rumor-wise and Enzo and Cass join forces as a heel unit. Cass wins regardless.

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Take a shot:

If WWE peddles the US vs. Foreigner storyline again with Rusev

If Rusev wears his Bulgarian color trunks and not his Russians

If Orton gets a head-scratchingly loud pop

For any pop Rusev receives

If Orton wins the match

Take 2 shots:

If Rusev runs in on Orton and beats him with the Bulgarian flag

If Rusev doesn’t carry his flag to the ring

If commentary refers to the the flag match at Battleground

If Orton wears his angsty cutoff hoodie

Take 3 shots:

If Lana accompanies Rusev

If Rusev beats Orton down but loses by one RKO.

Take 4 shots:

Rusev wins the match……

And is cheered

Prediction: Literally this match has the makings of how the flag match went, minus the silly flag gimmick. This match was shoehorned together and for the sake of Rusev, he needs this win. Luckily Orton has been on a tear of putty newer/younger guys over so that is why Rusev wins this one.

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

Naomi vs. Natalya (Smackdown Women’s Title match)

Take a shot:

If you get a headache from the flashing lights

If Naomi wins and no cash in happens

 

Take 2 shots:

If Carmella teases a cash in but doesn’t follow through.

If Natalya runs in on Naomi’s entrance

Take 3 shots:

If this goes more than 10 minutes

If Natalya wins the belt

If James Ellsworth interferes before Carmella were to come out.

If Carmella cashes in and wins

Take 4 shots:

If the cash in happens and Carmella loses (it’ll make me feel a little better about Corbin)

Prediction: Carmella will be champ by the end of all of this. Staten Island. Brooklyn. Makes sense. Naomi wins the first portion though for the actual scorekeeping.

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

Raw Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks (Raw Women’s Title match)

Take a shot:

If Alexa dons a Marvel inspired ring gear

If Sasha has a special entrance

If Bliss is carried in on a throne

Each Banks Statement attempt

Clear the liquor cabinet:

Heel Bailey screws Sasha

Prediction: This feud could be a lot hotter since there is actual alleged heat between these two superstars. No point really though of taking the belt off of Bliss at the moment so Alexa retains in what should still be a great match.

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

Sheasaro vs. Ambrose & Rollins

Take a shot:

If Rollins and Ambrose enter together under the same song

If this is the biggest pop match of the night

If Sheasaro run in on 2/3 of the Shield

If “Burn it down” is gone

Take 2 shots:

If either Shield Member eat a Brogue Kick

If Cesaro breaks out the swing

If Rollins and Ambrose have coordinated ring gear

If any other tag team interferes

Take 3 shots:

If Ambrose pins for the win

Take 4 shots:

If Rollins pins for the win

Take 10 shots:

If Sheasaro retain

Prediction: No way that Sheasaro is holding onto these belts. They’ve had a solid run but the Shield 2/3 reunion supercedes them at this point.

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens (US Title match w/ Special Referee Shane McMahon)

Take a shot:

If Shane screws Styles

If Shane screws Owens

If Shane eats a super kick

If Shane eats a Phenomenal Foreare

Take 4 shots:

If Styles Retains

Take 5 shots:

If Owens reclaims the US Title

Take 6 shots:

If Shane literally stays out of the way and it is a clean match

Prediction: They’ve already done the Shane vs. AJ angle so I would imagine that it is Owens turn to fight with the man that isn’t a wrestler but wrestles all the time. A.J. by that virtue should retain the title and get the open challenge going again. Yay!

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

Take a shot:

Every time the cash in is brought up

If Corbin runs in on Cena

If Cena gets a louder pop than boos

For any pop Corbin receives during entrance

If Cena wins the match

Take 2 shots:

If the match never starts

Corbin kayfabe injures Cena, writing him off Smackdown TV only to appear in weeks time on Raw.

If they show that verbal dressing down of Corbin

If anyone flips off Cena in view of camera.

Take 3 shots:

If Cena wins clean and decisively. Full burial mode.

If Corbin beats Cena down but CenaWinzLol

Take 4 shots:

Corbin wins the match……

And gets a pop

Prediction: As a Baron Corbin fan, this has not been a good week. Now Corbin has to face Cena at Summerslam and that doesn’t stack up well either. The only hope here for this to be a good match, is if the whole cash in thing is a vehicle for angry Corbin to eliminate Cena off the blue brand for a while. CenaWinzLulz

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

Jinder Mahal vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (WWE World Title match)

Take a shot:

If Jinder gets an entrance that tops any of his celebratory entrances of late.

If Shinsuke wins the title on his first attempt.

Take 2 shots:

If we get live violins

If Mahal runs in on Nakamura’s entrance

Take 3 shots:

If this goes more than 15 minutes

If the Singh Brothers eat Kinshasa’s

If Mahal loses by DQ but does not lose the belt

Take 4 shots:

If SHINSUKE NAKAMURA IS TRULY THE WWE CHAMPION IN 2017

Prediction: It is so strange to think that Shinsuke Nakamura is going to be champ by the end of the night. Hard to process.

(WWE.com)

(WWE.com)

WWE Universal Champion Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe (Fatal 4 Way Universal Title match)

Take a shot:

Each time Brock turns purple

If Roman gets “hurt” and takes a nap during the main portion of the match

If Lesnar wins and nothing really happens

Each Superman punch

If Joe takes the pin

Take 2 shots:

If Roman takes the pin

For each German Suplex

Take 3 shots:

If this goes more than 30 minutes

If Braun takes the pin

If it is obvious that Brock is motivated to put on great match

Take 4 shots:

If Brock Lesnar takes the pin

Clear the liquor cabinet:

If any person not named Brock Lesnar or Roman Reigns is champ.

Prediction: I legit have no idea. I’m just buckling up and enjoying.

Well, that’s our WWE Summerslam 2017 Drinking Game. Hopefully, you can pace yourselves. No live tweeting again unfortunately, this time an engagement party for me and my fiancé. But like last night with Takeover, join me for #SummerslamAfterDark on Twitter @GrahamCoffelt, at 7pm pst and we can dissect from there. See you then. now. forever.

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